Have you ever been afraid to tell someone something? To confess something to someone? Especially if you knew it would hurt them? For me, it was admitting I cheated on my wife the second time. I was afraid she was going to leave me. I stayed up night after night forming different ways to break the news to her. I cried myself to sleep over and over again. It got to the point of migraines and sickness. I “knew” she was going to leave me. I “knew” I was going to be like Ross from friends. I “knew” it. However, every time I prayed to God to take it away. Take away the fact that I had to tell her. To overlook it, He responded with, “she isn’t leaving you.”
I choose to delay my confession to her. By doing so, I drove myself deeper into sin. I did things that make me sick to think about today. It makes me sicker to know that my body still craves some of those things. I delayed my confession to her because I was scared she was going to leave me, even though, God said otherwise. It wasn’t until both my parents passed did I realize who I should really fear. While on a date, I went to the bathroom. While doing what any good man does, making faces at myself in the mirror, the Holy Spirit said, “tell her.” I said no because she will leave me. I was so scared at that point that it became a habit. This day He said more. “Tell her or else.” I ignored His command. As we were walking out, I suddenly started throwing up. I kept throwing up. It didn’t stop. I felt my body dying inside of itself. I knew something was wrong. I have never thrown up that much and that uncontrollably before. I sat there shaking as I felt death enter my body. The Holy Spirit reminded me of just a few minutes before. That’s when It hit me. It was time for me to talk to her and come clean with my addiction. I was more afraid of God than Susan leaving me.
Fear is a natural human in this world. Fear keeps us safe from harm, and from harming others around us. Fear used right will keep you going forward in your life with very little hurt. However, fear out of control will destroy. The first time I cheated on her, I feared God more than I feared her leaving, but I also feared letting others in at the same time. Confused, yeah, I was too. The first time I confessed to her that day because I didn’t want God to strike me down. However, I was too scared of what others would think of me. Especially of the pastor, I grew up with. I begged her to not tell anyone. I went as far as lying to myself and to her about being able to control everything. That’s why there was a second time. That simple fear stopped me from getting help then. This is the living example of fear out of focus.
Fear in Focus
Let’s look at the first example of fear in the bible to see what fear in Focus looks like. The first time we see fear like we know it is after Adam and Eve obtained the knowledge of Good and Evil. They saw each other, naked, and knew that what they were feeling wasn’t Godly. They quickly made clothing. This is fear in focus. They realized what they did was wrong. They ate the fruit, felt sexual feelings, and tried to correct their life accordingly. They made the clothes to stop that temptation they were feeling. When God showed up, things we sideways. They did just like any child would, they hide. But the difference is when God asked where they were, they came out of hiding. Mainly because they knew He had the power to find them. Just like a kid comes out of hiding because Daddy will find them. He punished them accordingly, and we now suffer that punishment.
Another example of fear in focus is Jesus before going to the Cross. He cried out blood begging God, His other self and Himself, to take this cup away. He didn’t want to die on the cross. A very natural feeling. After all the tears were said and done, He stood up and got ready.
Focusing the fear
How do you focus your fear? The simple question is what is the reason for the fear? For example, the evil blood-sucking bed bugs. After you have them, you will find that staying at a hotel scares you. Shopping at yard sales is almost impossible. Even worse, thrift stores… If God calls you to go somewhere, do you say no because you are afraid you will have to stay at a hotel? No! You say Yes sir! The reason is that you realize God is bigger than the bed bugs. Just like Adam and Eve, we have to come out of hiding and say yes sir. You have to get to the point where you say, I’m done. I’m done being afraid. I’m more scared of God’s anger. Exodus 15:3 scares me.
With that said, I would rather be on the Lord’s side. When we choose to Focus on Him and Trust in Him, things look much brighter.
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.Isaiah 41:10
The second way to Refocus on God is by God putting you back into focus. This is what happened to me. God allowed me to lose my Father and Mother. Then He threatened to take me. He gave me more than enough chances to refocus, but I choose not to. I wasn’t focusing on Him correctly. I wasn’t making a good rapport towards Him. He doesn’t have to prove Himself to me, but He did. I just ignored it. He gave me a child when we were told by multiple doctors that will never happen. Then He took it a step farther and did it again. I was looking at the negative so life instead of focusing on the good in life.
A Good Rapport Towards God
We tend to trust people more when they have done good in our lives. This is how we trust God more. We focus on what he has given us. We say thank you for each blessing. We seek Him in all things just to Thank him. We tend to lose focus because we lose our trust in Him. We get distracted with our day-to-day lives and forget what He has already done. Philippians 4:6-7 talks about this. It’s a constant thanksgiving. Thank you, Lord, for the left falling. Thank you for that car that was spinning out of control not hitting me. Thank you that I’m not dying of Covid. Thank you Thank you Thank you.
God will prove Himself over and over, We just need to look for it as many times It’s subtle. As human Americans, we want everything to be a tv show that points everything out to us. That’s not the case. We have to actively seek after Him. We have to actively see the good things in our lives. It’s the daily ritual of thanking Him for the basic stuff.
Questions for the reader
Describe one event in your life where your fear controlled your actions?
Describe one event in your life where your fear in God lead you in the right choices?
Describe one event in your life where your fear was out of focus and how you refocused your fear to God?
Remember, there is a God-shaped hole in all of us, that only God can fill. Make sure you are filling it with God’s love.